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This track was written for, but didn't appear in, the musical. New vocals were recorded for this release.

lyrics

There’s! No! Crying in baseball
Do not cry
If you wanna cry a little
Stick a socket in your eye
But you better not cry,
You better stay awake
Gotta keep your body moving
If you wanna take a break
Baseball pads
Baseball mitts
Baseball trousers
And a breakfast of GRITS

Welcome to the little league
And I’m gonna learn you all
There’s no crying in
BASE BALL!

(four lines tune)

There’s no crying in baseball
Just listen to your teacher
Just shootin’, smilin’
Hittin’ windin’, sittin’ on a bleacher.
There’s a time for makin’ noise
There’s a time for fighting
There’s a time for violence
And being too exciting.
There’s a time for candy
There’s a time for glue
There’s a time for rappin’
and that time is through

ROOOLE CAAAAALL!
(hand claps)

ROLE CALL

(all the children shout their names to a beat


Aida
Andy
Benedick
Bert
Cyrus
Danielle
Digby
Elfriede
Iothanthe
Jazz
Jon
Johnathan
John
John
John
John
John
John
John
Kirk
Lupin
Mikey
Morag
Sean
Yorick
Zebulun

YEAH

There’s no crying in baseball
In baseball never ever cry
There’s no crying in baseball, buddy
Just stick a little socket in your eye.

(Rap resumes)

There’s no crying in baseball
Never ever cry
Cross my heart and hope you die.
Sign the letter
Make mom mad
Never try to please
any parent or dad
Parents don’t know
how you feel
Parents are not even real

Welcome to the little league
And I’m gonna learn you all
There’s no crying in
BASE BALL!

(four lines tune)

Yes stick a little socket
You can keep it in your pocket
Just stick a little socket in your eye

credits

from Baseball Boy and Other Cow Children Singpieces, released August 31, 2021

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Ben Swithen Sheffield, UK

Ben Swithen is a person.

Here you can find their music - solo work, and a Doctor-Who- and-Cheese double-concept concept-album by The Potential Bees (who are a two- or three- person band), which forces both concepts into every song).

You can also find Ben Swithen on Youtube, but why would you even?
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