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Baseball Boy and Other Cow Children Singpieces

by Cow Children

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Jon South
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    A collection of songs from the podcast Cow Children. Many are from 'Baseball Boy: The Musical'. A genre-spanning set of baseball and non-baseball songpieces.

    cw: drugs, death, sport, crying
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1.
Baseball Boy is Coming 01:50
lyrics
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Baseball Boy is coming Baseball Boy is coming Baseball Boy is coming Get ready for baseball boy B b b b b b baseball B b b b b b b b b b boy I don't wanna play b b baseball I don't wanna h h home run I don't wanna w w wear a uniform I don't wanna g g g gun I don't wanna b be a big hitter Don't need a b babysitter I don’t want it all, I wanna stay small I Don't wanna play b b baseball!
2.
Sometimes I Feel Like a Niblingless Aunt 02:12
lyrics
I come from Bloodville, its five days ride thataway Come to give warning, the child’s a fiend Listen I urge you, listen I beg you My town is a mortuary since baseball boy intervened! Am E/G# Sometimes I feel like a childless mother Am Fdim and baseball has stolen my children away Am Dm6/F I lost my girl and her sibling and brother Am Dm E4 Am I sent them to play now their bodies decay Dm Am Who knew that this sport was the ruinous sort Dm Am Fdim that makes children smoke cigarettes, swear and drink port Am Fdim Their souls crumbled easily, moral decay. Am Dm Am Their bodies all followed, they died yesterday. Sometimes I feel like niblingless aunt Since baseball has stolen the souls of my kin They said they could handle the game, but they can’t For baseballs a sin, and it robbed them of skin Who warned me that baseball would make every face fall? And turn them to blasphemy, lies and wood alcohol Now they are bodies with nothing within Identical grave for identical twin (Sometimes I feel that there’s nothing I’ve left. For baseball has taken my hope and my friends I’m fully bereft by their spiritual theft For all of my family met permanent ends) Who gains from this misery, who from this curse The baseball boy, burdensome, squat and perverse Never play baseball, and never take meth. These actions are fatal, you’ll go to your death.
3.
I Used to be a Baseball Boy 01:27
lyrics
I used to be a baseball boy A baseball, baseball boy Among friends, till the summer gloam When the season met its end, I'd run home (Oh childhood’s a joy, oh greatest game No adult pleasure’s quite the same Not even money, no not love Compares to catching ball in glove [No exercise I can employ Is great as when I was a baseball boy] I used to be a baseball boy Baseball was my favourite toy Now I am old, I cannot run Behind the hill I fall, I'm like the sun I'm not a boy, perhaps I never was and for baseballs, I'm ever at a loss Baseball was my greatest joy When I used to be a baseball boy. I used to wield the baseball mitt More cumbersome than I’ll admit And now I wield A knitting pin While I may make and do, I cannot win. My day is over, eventide is near Yet I know no cause to fear For children will know baseball’s joy As onward comes another baaaseball boy
4.
Holly Jolly Hugelarge (the Very Big Baseball Cat) 02:00
lyrics
Holly Jolly Hugelarge is a very big baseball cat I grew up as big as a barge, how did I manage that I ate my eggs and oatmeal too And topped it off with baseball stew It' really makes a lion of you A very big baseball cat I am Holly Hugelarge I’m here to watch you play Sliding into second base, I'll shout hooray hooray (Chorus comes in) hooray hooray hooray hurrando) Cos we're the greatest baseball team We never will run outa steam Come on let me hear you scream 'We Are Good at Baseball' We are good at baseball And Holly Jolly Hugelarge Is a very big baseball cat Encouraging Full control of a baseball bat. It is time for Baseball It is time for Baseball It is time for baseball It is baseball time Holly Jolly Hugelarge A jolly big baseball cat Though I've now advanced in years With claws and roars as well as purrs Majestic mane and lived in furs I'm a very big baseball cat In a very big baseball hat Come along it’s baseball time Up the the major league we climb Holly Jolly Hugelarge I’m a very big baseball cat Pick it! Come along it’s baseball time Up the the major league we climb Holly Jolly Hugelarge I’m a very big baseball cat Now I am a mountain man It does not change the fact That Holly Jolly Hugelarge is a very big baseball (very big baseball) very big baseball cat Come along it’s baseball time Up the the major league we climb Holly Jolly Hugelarge I’m a very big baseball cat
5.
It's a Kind of a Parade 01:15
lyrics
It’s a kind of a parade and we’re going down the road All the children coming down to baseball boy It’s a hearty promenade That the council have bestowed All the children coming down to baseball boy All the animals are marching Donkeys cows and sheep and chickens And our joy is overarching We’re all here except the illness-stricken Marching down the road It’s a kind of a parade All the children coming down to baseball boy
6.
Fennel's Bedroom (dialogue) 00:16
7.
Goosey Goosey Gender 00:49
lyrics
Goosey goosey gender wither shall I render Upstairs, downstairs, playing on the fender There I met an old man A young woman The non-binary porridge from Goldilocks
8.
Sam Nicoresti - B.A.S.E.B.A.L.L. 02:01
9.
Baseball Boy Rap 02:06
lyrics
There’s! No! Crying in baseball Do not cry If you wanna cry a little Stick a socket in your eye But you better not cry, You better stay awake Gotta keep your body moving If you wanna take a break Baseball pads Baseball mitts Baseball trousers And a breakfast of GRITS Welcome to the little league And I’m gonna learn you all There’s no crying in BASE BALL! (four lines tune) There’s no crying in baseball Just listen to your teacher Just shootin’, smilin’ Hittin’ windin’, sittin’ on a bleacher. There’s a time for makin’ noise There’s a time for fighting There’s a time for violence And being too exciting. There’s a time for candy There’s a time for glue There’s a time for rappin’ and that time is through ROOOLE CAAAAALL! (hand claps) ROLE CALL (all the children shout their names to a beat Aida Andy Benedick Bert Cyrus Danielle Digby Elfriede Iothanthe Jazz Jon Johnathan John John John John John John John Kirk Lupin Mikey Morag Sean Yorick Zebulun YEAH There’s no crying in baseball In baseball never ever cry There’s no crying in baseball, buddy Just stick a little socket in your eye. (Rap resumes) There’s no crying in baseball Never ever cry Cross my heart and hope you die. Sign the letter Make mom mad Never try to please any parent or dad Parents don’t know how you feel Parents are not even real Welcome to the little league And I’m gonna learn you all There’s no crying in BASE BALL! (four lines tune) Yes stick a little socket You can keep it in your pocket Just stick a little socket in your eye
10.
Sam Nicoresti - There's No Crying in Baseball 01:10
11.
The Death of Baseball Boy (dialogue) 00:46
info
12.
I Used to Have a Big Heart 01:39
lyrics
Dm A4/C When I was a child, I cried so well and so fully Bb6 A When my hamster died I wept and sobbed for days For little woolly. Dm His four feet pointing in the air. F/C There was no life there. Bb I sobbed for days, and so they said, A You must have a big heart Dm Dm A4/D Now I am grown, it’s so hard to cry Bb No matter how my heart may ache, A4 my sympathy Dm Why so numb? Why won’t the tears come The tears will not come. Our children were blown apart. My heart was big Have I outgrown the heart In days of yore, when kings would die And all the subjects mourn in deepest agony There was anguish Beyond all language Now I cannot cry, do I have to make a pretence Make of the funerals Now just song and dance. I used to have a big heart I used to have a big heart
13.
There's No Crying in Baseball (But We Ain't In Baseball Any More) 01:20
lyrics
Oh there’s no crying in baseball Baseball’s one and only law There’s no crying in baseball But we ain’t in baseball any more Oh boo hoo hoo.
14.
Goosey Goosey Gender (reprise) 00:17
15.
Theme to 'Cow Children' 00:39
lyrics
C /B Am / G F /D G C Cowpokes, cow folks, every kind of cow children C /B Am /G D7 G Cow girls, cow boys, any non-binary C / B Am / G F /D G C Cow gals, cow pals, hoping no brigands will kill them C Edi F FlA G4 G C Cowkin, cowskin, whatever cow you be. All cow children, every afflicted pilgrim Countless millions, any demography Cowpokes, cow folks, every kind of cow children Cowkin, cowskin, whatever cow you be. G C G G7 G4 G C /B Am /G D7 G C /B Am / G F /D G C C Edim F F/A G4 G C
16.
The Horseman's Song (from Horse) 01:06
info
17.
Sam Nicoresti - The Bachelor of Love 01:59
info
18.
Das Laird von MacGyver 03:03
19.
Theme to 'Cow Children' (instrumental) 00:38
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about

These are songs and music from the podcast Cow Children.

credits

released August 31, 2021

all songs written by Ben Swithen, except tracks 8 and 10, by Sam Nicoresti, track 17 by Sam Nicoresti and Ben Swithen

Cover font is Railway Gothic CC Bold, a Cowboy Font Revival font.
Cow Children is made in association with Cowboy Collective cowboycollective.cc

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Ben Swithen Sheffield, UK

Ben Swithen is a person.

Here you can find their music - solo work, and a Doctor-Who- and-Cheese double-concept concept-album by The Potential Bees (who are a two- or three- person band), which forces both concepts into every song).

You can also find Ben Swithen on Youtube, but why would you even? ... more

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