J the A was John Apostle
Known, in paintings, for his looks
He was young, and not a fossil
And wrote five acknowledged books.

J the B was John the Baptist
Who by prayer and a wash
And the Holy Spirit kept us
To the way of cousin Josh

J the C was Jesus Christus
Man and God, o holy Christ
Who, to save us and assist us
In our midst was sacrificed.

J the D is James Disciple
With thunderous disposition
One could say he’s prototypal
Of the firebrand preachers’ mission

J the E is John Evangelist
The same as J the A
He’s in twice to help me manage-a-list
In an alphabetic way.

Now Jerusalem the Fallen
May be called our J the F.
Once the beauty of the callen,
Then the table of distress.

J the G is Jesus God,
If I might surname him so
He forgave us by his bod
And he went where we may go

J the H is John Hyrcanus
From the Maccabean time
Waving Israel’s proud banners
Over victories sublime

J the I is James the First
Who the KJV commissioned
A translation that's well versed
And reproduced with crown permission.

J the J is James the Just,
For whom both Heav’n and Earth were made
That phrase is oft discussed
As its true meaning was mislaid

J the K is Jael Kenite
With a tent-peg, won the war
Lordly bowl, then peg, then g’night!
Sing her song forevermore!

Now Jerusalem Lamented,
She was our J the L:
With distress unprecedented
Came the weep, the cry and yell.

J the M was Jethro Midianite
Moses’ father-in-law, a shepherd
Moses served him, I won’t kid ya
Nightly saved the sheep from leopard!

Now Judah was a Nation.
J the N was cleft in twain
Prompting war and devastation
Under myriad rulers’ reign.

J the O is Joseph overdressed
Where’d Jacob buy that coat from?
Sent to prison, but stayed undepressed
An economist we quote from.

J the P is Jesus Peace:
Quite the pacifistic Lord,
But some day the world will cease
And then he’s coming with a sword

J the Q was Jezebel the Queen
Slew prophets, and was hated
Quite the murderous machine,
Till she was defenestrated.

Now John the Revelator,
In a prison sacrificed,
J the R was not a hater:
The disciple loved by Christ

J the S is Judith slayer
Of the monster Holofernes
Decapitate with prayer,
And Assyria overturns!

Job the tested, Satan’s minigame
Surrounded by bad friends
Bildad, Eliphaz and what’s-his-name
Kept him at his wits’ ends

J the U was Jesus underground
Descending into hell
To free the captives, true he found
Released them from their cell.

J the V is James the Virgin’s son
Some call him Jesus’ brother,
He was martyred too, by surging stone
Alas for her, his mother.

Jonah Whalefood’s our W,
Scripture’s slapstick oracle
Who in submarinal bubble,
You can hear sing psalms rhetorical

J the X is Jesus crucified
Ending spiritual war.
Though he briefly may have died
Yet he lives forevermore

John the Young is often painted
With androgynous elation
But in older life, acquainted
Readers with the revelation,

J the Z is now a rapper,
And has wedded Beyoncé
Favours Adidas to Kappa.
Full agreement, by the way.